Thursday, September 9, 2010

Mother City Madhouse Memories [Continued]

As mentioned before, my reason for going to Cape Town was to 'model' for Le Jew. Laughable, if you think about it, because I am not at all a model. I was quite sure my runway debut would end like this:
So, I'm at Bohemia waiting for Le Jew, having drinks with Rolandd. I haven't eaten much, but I figure that this is helping me get in character of Model Extraordinaire.
Le Jew is late. He is also, by the sounds of things, quite stressed. I, on the other hand, am quite relaxed and chipper [read: tipsy]. By the time he gets to Bohemia we have one times giggly model, one times stressed designer and one times large slab of chocolate. By the time we get to the venue, the latter is no longer with us.
Val de Vie is lovely! It is far away from everything, but totally worth the effort. Combine polo, the winelands and luxury living and you get one times Happy Unicorn. [Dear Future Husband, please take me there.] But the decadence is, today, interrupted by furious bustling of stressed designers, excited models, judges and a general crowd likely high on hairspray by now.
The Jew and I are WAY late. We still need to do hair, make-up and sew my dress onto me! There is chaos around everything- numbers, order, judging, shoes and WHERE THE HELL ARE MY TEENY TINY SATURDAY NIGHT UNDIES???
My dress... Is not a dress. I am naked. Well, almost. There are chains involved. And BIG shoes [which have stockings pulled over them, making them even more slippery]. I am also wearing no make-up at all, my hair resembles a bird's nest [with braids] and I can only imagine that the cherry on top will be a major bail on the runway.
But by some miracle of the fashion gods, I did not fall. I walked to the end, halfway back, back to the end and then all the way back without slipping, tripping or falling on my face. I even posed, and did not burst out laughing. In fact, I think I totally pulled it off.
Big shoes + chains. Grr!
Just taking myself totes seriously as Model Unicorn.
Here's looking at you, non-models.
Does this make my bum look big?
It was actually quite enjoyable in the end. Thank you to Le Jew for choosing me [and promising me future jobs with him, where I will actually wear something], The GBF and La Jew [note: girl Jew] for coming to support. Keep an eye on this one, he's going to make it big someday. I mean, just look at his coat design:
Fab. Life, my friends, is just plain freaking fabulous.

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