Saturday, May 15, 2010

Everything is Average Nowadays

Photo by Skillie.
Nina is officially in Taiwan. But that is a destination with quite the story behind it.
On Thursday night I threw a surprise retirement [read: farewell] party for her. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to organise a surprise party for someone who is sitting right next to you ALL THE TIME? Never ever have I ever told so many fibs, and there was a moment of panic when I thought that I actually could not get everything done on time, but it was worth it. The other problem [besides for catering, gifts, timing, planning, alcohol and and and] was that Nina knows a total of, like, three and a half people in Pretoria, so I had to invite all of my friends instead. But we did it. People actually pitched and Nina was actually surprised. So, Thursday was sehr cool. But Friday? Oh no.
Lize wakes up with quite the hangover. Whilst on bed [still in clothes from night before], I get a call from Supersport. Some of you may have seen me present on Varsity Cup? Well, my next gig was the FIFA Soccer World Cup. Yes. Me. I was the only girl, the only freelancer who would be presenting World Cup matches for Supersport. Added to this major career move was the fact that I would be doing news bulletins for four radio stations, a total of 3 million listeners. I was a bit excited.
Supersport: Lize, you're not going to love me, but I'm just the messenger.
Immediate reaction is panic, but I calm myself down and think, 'Maybe my clothing sponsor has pulled out. I can deal with that.'
Lize: ?
Supersport: You're no longer on World Cup.
Lize: ?!
Supersport: We think it would be better to take one of our guys. Someone who knows the sport inside out.
This sucks so royally. I did not want to write about this, but I'd rather do it this way than have everyone ask me about it individually when I do not appear on their television screens as threatened, and re-living it over and over and over again. So the last two days have been spent in a state of epic depression because I will definitely never ever make it in this industry, and will someday die a doggy parlour waitress who is fat and eternally single. Added to this was the frustration of executing the final steps to ensure Nina would be getting on her plane to Taiwan.
Lize: Excuse me, is there an Absa in this mall?
Mall info woman: The bank?
Lize: No, the ice-cream parlour, obviously.
So I spent my hangover in Absa and Forex, being annoyed by people because it is not bad enough that my entire career has just gone up in flames, everyone has to suck too. Blind zit the size of Kenya on my chin also not helping matters at all.
And then, of course, saying goodbye to my amazing friend. Nina and I quite despised one another at first, but it took just one Howard Roark album launch, an all-nighter and many stimulants to have us realise that we were destined to be BFFs. After one last cigarette and a shot of Kleine Keiler in the airport bathroom, we said goodbye. There were many tears, but I did it. This go-to gal got her friend on that plane, and now it is time for Nina's adventures in Taiwan. Painful as it was to say goodbye, I am excited for her.
After saying goodbye I walked through the airport for approximately 3 days [slight exaggeration] looking for the parking lot that contained my car, unable to decide which is worse; walking around crying with make-up streaming onto my collarbones or walking around with sunglasses indoors. It was The Hero and The Mermaid to the rescue though, and The Hero, as well as my mother, told me something along of the lines of 'the sun will shine again tomorrow'. To this I replied that I bet it wouldn't, that tomorrow would be rainy and miserable and I would die in my sleep of sadness and fail.
I am tired beyond belief after a day of helping Meggy move into her new place, driving a bakkie that is a full-body workout with every gear change, after getting into bed at 4am. But the sun shone today, and I did not die in my sleep. So, at least for now, my story will be continued.

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