It has been a rough, rough week. I am finally going to class [four weeks into the term I realised I had averaged one out of 20 per week!] and I feel as though I am slowly getting back on top of the mandatory things like taking the meds and graduating at the end of this year. But in the more personal spheres- in those inside circles you find yourself wandering around and wondering about and eventually get lost in but as alone as you are you try not to drag others in with you, those are the pieces that aren't quite as awesome as others may seem. On the other hand [where there are more fingers], work is going well, with great opportunities coming my way.
Sometimes you'll feel hopeless, or alone, unhappy, perhaps hating yourself a bit when all along you were hating everyone else. We are human, and even the bravest faces can't be strong all the time. Sometimes admitting that one needs support, of confessing one's weaknesses, is the greater strength. And nothing lasts forever. You just have to believe it will pass, it will get better, and in the end everything will be alright. Other times you need to look in the mirror, shake yourself and know there is a solution, potentially within you.
But if I don't come back, then I won't look behind me.
All of the things that I thought were so easy
Just got harder and harder each day.
Calendar girl who's in love with the world, stay alive.
Calendar girl who's in love with the world, stay alive!
I dreamed I was dying; as I so often do,
And when I awoke I was sure it was true.
I ran to the window, threw my head to the sky
And said, "whoever is up there, please don't let me die!"
January, February, March, April, May- I'm alive.
June, July, August, September, October I'm alive
November, December, all through the winter, I'm alive!
-Stars, Calendar Girl