Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Collected Memories: Skinny Love

Today, I gave up a very big part of my life. [No, Mum, I have not quit smoking.]
I sold my pony. Well, he's a horse, the size of a giraffe [almost] but pony is just so much more endearing, no? I started riding when I was eight years old, which makes this my thirteenth year. Some of my fondest memories lie in my horseriding career, some of my best friends were made through it, and of course some of my worst injuries... There's not much to say, it is one of the most difficult things I have had to do on my life, and the only time I have stopped crying so far is when I have been on air and I have to be totally bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and loving life. But I fully intend to someday have my own horse[s] again, even if I don't ride competitively. I also intend to keep in touch with Danzig, and maybe someday I will buy im back. No, seriously...
I went through a lot with this one. He was sold behind my back two years ago, I had to steal him, hide him and smuggle him to Stellenbosch. When I bought him he had had very little training other than racing [Google him, you'll see!] so I taught him almost everything from scratch. We have come second at Western Province Championships by one point, and he has once nearly killed me.
But I have to let go, I know that. And that's what this period in our lives is all about. As we move from teens to twenties and older, our friends will graduate, move around the country after a decent first first job, people we know will move abroad, start their own families and form a new life on a totally different road to the footpath we walked hand-in-hand as kids. Change is inevitable, but we can choose to be adult about it and see the good, as well as the realistic. It's not all bad, this next phase, but it is very different. Brace yourself, expect some knocks [and I'm not talking the showjumping kind], but let's keep on smiling. Amidst recessions, goodbyes, addictions and deaths, I try decide what I dream, and my dreams involve big plans with a sprinkling of My Little Pony, candy-cane trees and heart-shaped balloons. Thank you to Irish for stunning photos, that make my bawl my eyes out everytime I see them.
I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall
I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
-Bon Iver, Skinny Love

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

This has to be one of the most honest, heartfelt and insightful posts I've read on any blog, or other medium for that matter.

Niel de la Rouviere said...

Ah! This is sad...

heino said...

i'm sorry to hear about danzig.